[personal profile] elyouc
just brainstorming here of things that will make me happy. i think i owe myself to think of my needs instead of catering to others in what they will like and such:

go to a nature trail
paint/draw
go to the beach
hang out with friends (sandy wants us to finally go to a laser light show but steve's been holding me back, or i'm letting myself be held back because he guilts me into it saying he's not allowed to have friends, when all it is that i don't want him to drink and get himself in trouble like he's done before. why does fun have to get destructive? grr. i should just ask him to come with but i know already he's going to make an excuse how he has to work the next day and study for his exam, putting me back to square one, feeling resentful for being held back. gah! i hate relationships that can be so limiting to my growth. there i said it.) this list had a purpose back to it...
throw away stuff that holds me back...i'm really bad with clutter, but i'm realizing that clearing it up helps me emotionally unload, plus make room for new things in my life.
do more summer-y things.
garden.
get excited about baby stuff. i was never really one to oooh and ahhh over baby stuff. maybe surround myself with people who knows.
read more. right now i'm reading the celestine prophecy and getting into it. i love my p2 =) such a good ebook reader for when my mind needs to get off things.
k that's enough for now. enough to start.
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elyouc

March 2010

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