I'm glad that things are falling into place. I say falling.. but really.. it's been effort on your part.
"I need a strong man that I don't need to worry about, who will keep me stimulated, tell me when I'm being a brat and give me the love I need. "
*nods* sounds good. Interdependence between two independent individuals.. not a relationship based on dependence on one, or the other, or both. that's what I'm working on a lot now. Figuring out how to be independent, make myself happy, but include Brian in the ride. I think, from seeing my parents relationship, etc.. that I felt that I either had a life that 100% included Brian, or I shouldn't be in the relationship. But I've learned, that kills a part of me. I should share MY life with him. not make him my life. I'm working on it. it's hard. I feel guilty a lot. He doesn't impose the guilt. I do. Working on it.
i'm getting better at not feeling guilty if I go out with friends and he stays at home, he prefers to be at home. I'm getting more involved and being more "out" accepting and showing a part of myself I hid for so long. Trying to go to the gay bar atleast once a month with the girls...
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-08-07 05:37 pm (UTC)"I need a strong man that I don't need to worry about, who will keep me stimulated, tell me when I'm being a brat and give me the love I need. "
*nods* sounds good. Interdependence between two independent individuals.. not a relationship based on dependence on one, or the other, or both. that's what I'm working on a lot now. Figuring out how to be independent, make myself happy, but include Brian in the ride. I think, from seeing my parents relationship, etc.. that I felt that I either had a life that 100% included Brian, or I shouldn't be in the relationship. But I've learned, that kills a part of me. I should share MY life with him. not make him my life. I'm working on it. it's hard. I feel guilty a lot. He doesn't impose the guilt. I do. Working on it.
i'm getting better at not feeling guilty if I go out with friends and he stays at home, he prefers to be at home. I'm getting more involved and being more "out" accepting and showing a part of myself I hid for so long. Trying to go to the gay bar atleast once a month with the girls...
Finding me, my joy, my life.
Yes, yes.