(no subject)

[elyouc]

yes i'm bad with updating this or replying..
simply procrastinating with stats so hey i thought i will kill time with lj just not that much
today we're looking at another house.. even though the paisley one is one we both love and it's up to him whether he's willing
the downside is that it is far away from civilization as i know it
but not like that it matters these days because life is school and activities
horoscope today said go have a field trip and it's tempting because i just got done with a midterm and now a quiz is on the horizon i should study
but yes, house... need to get moved in pretty soon as the contract runs out the 31st?
i'm still on the fence about this relationship
pretty honest with him where my mind is at
part of me feels a pull to separate and be true to who i am
but part of me feels that i could also be just imagining all this and i am just being ungrateful
it is just difficult to be in a relationship
period
at least i am trying to be happy
even if it makes him unhappy
when i breakaway
when i leave and be with friends
friends who are telling me to leave
i guess i should understand that every body means well
and it is up to me whether this is the life i want
i can easily change it
i simply feel stuck
in between decisions
in between lives
i like this..
"beautiful fluid like change.....is better than stagnant stability...give me constant progression...digression, high's, low's, a roller coaster to repair my soul"
i have a feeling i'm hearing what i need to hear
but to recognize to make a move is where i am

Comments

[blackpaladin.livejournal.com]

> friends who are telling me to leave
> i guess i should understand that every body means well
> and it is up to me whether this is the life i want

It's absolutely up to you. Just remember that you have lots of people who love you and don't want to see you hurting -- especially don't want to see you hurting yourself. Which is what it seems like a lot of us are seeing in you currently.

As always, you know I'm here, and ready to listen when you're ready to talk.

[bibe.livejournal.com]

i know i am loved and i appreciate that :)

i think no matter what happens i'll be okay

it's just spilling my brain for the most part
and trying to understand my situation
it's messy inside so i'm in need of decluttering

thanks though for all the brotherly/uncle-y advice :)