He's getting his car fixed. So expensive. We've been cutting out on going out to bars but replacing it with dinner dates. Still the alcohol consumption is high hah. Stopped by ABC to get wine and between the two of us, 6 margaritas. Yum! We're going to the farmer's market soon. I want strawberries for my sangria.

Looking up gadgets for Christmas. Need recommendations for mp3 players. xbox live or ps3?

ramsey's on. gotta go. we love kitchen nightmares and basically ramsey haha
how can i make life more interesting?

i recognize that i'm feeling bored with my life.

after having read through these entries, i found that while i have calmed down and am less volatile these days i have become less passionate and simply going through the motions so i'm hoping to fix this now that i'm at least aware of it. recognizing the need to keep engaged and build a stronger support system because the isolation makes me retreat to myself. i don't want to make the same mistakes where my life grew smaller and i became resentful for being held back from experiences. it's not what i want and i'm glad to know it.

i want to keep experiencing joy and chasing after that elusive happiness. i want to surround myself with evidence of a fulfilling life.

during the colder months or when there's the holidays i tend to feel down. i guess i'll try everything i can to feel more excited about it.
i hate being this crazy
This is just to remind myself that I would love love love it if I can be surrounded again with art. White walls are unsettling to me. It just doesn't feel right. I need an art buddy. I could very well be surrounded by beauty but I'm too lost inside my head to see it. Let me wrap up this semester and I promise that I will try to be productive in other regards. It's a matter of channeling energies specifically. Right now I am so restless and cannot sleep! Steve is probably wondering why the space next to him is empty. I am never up when he's asleep. We're inseperable when we're together. But my mind is off. I feel something inside me that insists that who I've been is not what I want. The trial period has expired and I need a new life. Today I noticed that the new people in my life has so much good energy! But I have bad vibe because I don't feel right. Life right now is chaos, but settling into something calm. Eye of the storm. I just feel like I'm in turmoil. Tumultous times. I have to stop comparing now to then. Yes I had my days when I simply felt free. Carefree and happy. No worries. It was a different life. I know I have an absorbant personality. Perhaps I take in his stress. Add it to mine and it is plain stupid. My idea of relaxing is blasting out music and dancing by myself hah. That and trying to find inspiration. I think what I was trying to get to was that I need to use the people in my life now as inspiration to live a better life. (Wow I really love that autosave feature I closed out accidentaly and hah it's here.) But my next train of thought was that I know so many people but only on the surface level. I need to dig deeper. I want a better understanding of who they are and what they have to teach me in this life. This can be my new project. Liz had to move away to Bradenton when I felt us getting closer. Understanding this is what life does to everybody but still I find it annoying. Sandy wants to go see shows with me. I need galpals like her. Such energy and positivity I've missed such people. Here to remind self to look closely and see what's inside. I think I am feeling better now and will try to get some sleep. Good night :)
Dancing is fun. I turned his excercise room into a dance studio. Yay.
I just have to quit being busy so I can do these more. Semester will be over soon enough. Thank God. I know better to keep classes to the regular 4 or three if I'm merciful to myself. For next year, I will cut off extracurricular and replace it. Less responsibilities equals more sanity. Primary relationships will improve for the better. J. wants me to write more reviews. Coma's going to print so pay in addition to free concert tickets and merch and the all important drooling over musicians. Steve is against the idea, so drooling shall be kept to a minimum.

Hmm Christmas soon. Trying to keep from retail therapy so I have more christmas gift spending money although it's tempting to just buy a plane ticket and go somewhere fun. Life is lacking less fun these days and it has driven me nuts. We're trying to cut out time spent in bars and have replaced it with movie and dinner. Went to see Quantum of Solace and then he finally took me to have sushi at Haru. :) If he didn't feel bad afterwards, would have gone see shows as well, but we kinda passed out after coming home. He's given me control of the blockbuster online stuff, so we might actually get to watch things instead of having the DVDs collect dust for lack of interest. Working at it but seriously need duct tape for my big mouth because I complain too much about stuff when I should just do something about my unhappiness. Taking a proactive stance..

One day we'll find our rottie.. Pets that has a short life span isn't really the greatest for me (crabs are all gone). I want more plants. A garden would be therapeutic...
I've forgotten what it's like to take my time... Feel so hurried feel so rushed

I wanna cut out the shit but I don't know where to start
It's not like I party so much or at all anymore
everything matters on some level
maybe i've wasted so much time by taking my time that i'm catching up for all that lost time
so unhappy sometimes
i feel worn out
keep on saying that something has to give but i am so unwilling to give up anything
can't find a middle ground
i'm either a major slacker or go too crazy being an overachiever
for the moment i'm slacking on overachieving if that makes sense
just taking back MY time
winding down putting it off til later
doing better in my classes but it's been a constant effort
if i can only see into a tangible future
i don't even know why i do the things i do
i should just stop expecting so much of myself
so what if things fall apart maybe they're meant to
i just want to feel happy again
doing things that i want to do
and not feel like i'm in prison within my own life
my own life
i should own it again
Leadership retreat was interesting. It was really hard to be away from Steve, and it became even more so when I heard from him later on in the night and he was so wasted that he didn't know where he was. Much worriedness and crying and I couldn't enjoy my bonding time as much. It was still good though. I made the most of the situation and have made good connections. As far as applying what we've learned, we'll have to see in our success for the rest of the year. We have ROPES training set for everyone on the 7th of November. Should be fun. Hoping to be more organized.. Looking to drop a class as to have only 4 this semester. I shouldn't have taken more than I have because my happiness is suffering. I know I definitely am lacking in the friends and fun department. Steve's my best friend these days and it's all wonderful for our relationship, but it's come to the point that I realize I need to work on my friendship. Time does not permit me fun. I miss the days when I felt free, instead of on a tight schedule. I don't mind routine at all, but I would like to breathe once in a while lol. A lot of things going under the "One Day" list. We have been getting into the home improvement shows and it is satisfying to want many of the same things. I just need more patience as far as getting what I want. He's patient with me. I can be understanding to him, but then again, I can be the least understanding person because of that lack of patience thing hah. All in good time. We've been going out more on dates, and I really appreciate that from him. It's pretty fun. This weekend we went to Longhorn and saw Nights at Rodanthe. I have relieved him from watching chick flicks for the rest of the year because of that. We missed the Farmer's Market because I was out of town, but it's all good, we can do it this Saturday. We love fresh fruits and veggies. I adore it when he gets me my peaches. I just feel bad I forget to eat them. When I have school I simply don't eat and it's so bad for my metabolism. One meal a day and ridiculous snacks is not entirely healthy. I need stress relieving activities. Mobsters is a pathetic excuse for stress relief.
My cat Kai likes to drink water from the faucet. We spoil him by allowing him to continue to do so. Hey, it's that or kisses from kitty kai who just drank from the toilet. Silly kitty. He's getting to be a happy fat cat. Steve bought him new toys that makes the place noisy for when kai wants to be his playful self. We're looking for a Rottie as a new pet. I want a rescued one but most I've seen are from Texas. Maybe they deliver. I would like a dog. I enjoyed the German Shepard I got to play with and keep company back in Minnesota.

I now have a money tree!! Steve bought it for me at the SFACEF Rummage Sale because I got irritated about his signed autograph of a Playboy bunny he used to go to high school with. Yes, I will never run out of reason to be insecure or jealous. But he's sweet and humors me when I get silly. Oh, the money tree is supposed to be for good luck so says the ADT guy who sold it to us. We also got a nice framed artwork for a decently good price. I like it. :)

We have the blockbuster thing where you order movies online. So far we've watched Next, Mr. Brooks and now 3:10 to Yuma. More things coming in, but they're more on the manly side. But later on the queue are my girlie flicks. :D I am loving the movie nights. Feeling closer to him everyday. :) I LOVE HIM!!! Shhh. He knows this but yeah..

I'm worried though about someone who's getting sicker.. it makes me sad to be on friendly terms, but I'm probably never going to see them ever again. It is an open wound even a year later and we both feel the same way.

This is going to be a productive week. I have so much to do and catch up with, but I just wanted a little time for myself. :)
I'm feeling happy these days far more than I've been in a while. I think I'm getting better at juggling things, and learning how to make myself enjoy life despite the stress. Working on getting to good but it will take constant effort. Learning to say no to things that will consume more of my time. That's progress right? So time to re-evaluate and figure out what will keep me happy. I'd like to have a mini-garden. I'd like some pretty art to see on a daily basis. If I can get my art supplies here and draw and paint again, I I can let out some stress that way. SGA is becoming my fun time, getting the clubs to work together and give the students more enjoyable events to partake in. I'd like to invest more of myself to BCA (Brevard Cultural Alliance) so that I can some culture back in my life!! The bar scene is not working for me. It tends to turn me into a monster when I'm all strung out from everything and I get so mad for no reason. I told we need to cut out the partying. This weekend will a test I'm sure. Fridays are my free day to catch up with chores, excercise and whatnot. I have a bad habit of spending it on the computer though that it goes by quick lol Haircut today. I'd like to have some friends time in, but that's another problem. I think it's time to make new ones, because the ones I have are far away!! I shall miss Lindsay and our crazy times. Much luck to her in Abu Dhabi!! ;) The officers are starting to be my substitute friends which I don't mind at all, they're all wonderful in their own ways and might as well get along with them. :P I think a nice hot shower sounds good right now. Ohh and chocolate :D
Woke up from a call. Myke was calling back because I wished him a happy birthday. All my good friends are far away and it's hard to maintain new ones when there's so much I've taken on. Bitch bitch whine whine.

Steve's great though and I'd like to think that when I'm not taking out my stress on him, that we're pretty happy with our little life. He let my cat move in a while back, and a while back, he brought me home crabs. Like crabs you eat, but they're our pets now. Except he keeps on threatening to eat them. They live in the other bath tub for now until we know what to do with them.

I should be doing my homework but instead I'm playing Mobster and playing around on LJ.

SGA's doing alright. I have my spiffy badge that will let me get to the SGA room without too much hassle. Mmm power.

I have a gala to publicize and random other things I need to work on. The list keeps on getting longer, and schoolwork is piling up.

Waiting on refund and I shall spend part of it for retail therapy. Grin.

There's a conference in Bradenton coming up, and I'm tempted to go but doing so would mean I will join Voices for Justice. My papa is trying to get me involved with immigration. Sometimes I think he's trying to coerce me to take on his path, and I feel conflicted about it. Except for flyer making stuff, I don't even bother with art anymore, and it makes me sad. He was at the office of Senator Bill Nelson today to try and get his paperwork sorted out. That whole situation is upsetting as well, but it will all work itself out. I personally think he needs to relax and retire back in the Philippines, but I'd be scared for his safety back there. There is so much trouble in getting us here, but really some days all I want to do is go back. Oh well, I haven't made my mark yet. Think about retirement once I actually get some things squared away hah.

Is it the weekend yet?
I need to simplify my life. Seriously. The mental and emotional stress I have inside is taking a toll on my body.

So hungover.. I need to be moderate with my drinking. I keep on telling myself that but I always forget. I guess the partying is an escape of sorts. I can have fun without it..

There's a shopping cart in the living room. We're at the second floor. We don't remember how this happened and it is funny. It's the blacking out part that I don't care much for.

New loves
coco wheats
muddy buddies
blue bell strawberry crunch
grilled cheese with tomato soup
chex turtle

now i just gotta balance it out with activity
thought about kayaking but that idea has taken a back seat

i'm eating celery now but it's kinda ruined for me when he had me eat it with peanut butter
craving peanut butter now
i think i'll go make my pb+banana sandwich
it's raining out
hi fay!! don't come here until he gets home okay?
i've never had to spend a hurricane alone i don't even know if it's one still
i just know i'm off school because of it
i could be doing one of the newsletters right now
procrastinating :)
should get the office organized and pretty too
we've started prettyfying the place with photos because i bitched about the stark white walls
this makes me crazy and makes me feel like i'm in prison
i like mess
i like chaos
i like color
he likes organization
he's more of a minimalist
black and white and grey and lines
how to make this work
i'm keeping the lava lamps at home lol
i'm still fighting for the cat to come here
he wants a rottweiler
gotta go home sometime and clean up because my little brother is going to stay there in my room because my mother might be moving to orlando
i get to be a big sister which i want to be but everybody's just all grown up
well i still have a while to go
jennnnn come visit have fun and be merry
i know about depression too well, i have my bouts of it only to discover it was severe pms lol
but still at the time it feels too real and the things i do think about are relevant to my life i just have a way of ignoring problems or not making it too much of one
finished the flyers for a blood drive and our "welcome back" event hosted by sga
of course that only happened because i missed my first class lol i swear they switched times (and i was careless not to double check the times)
three classes being missed right now because of the storm
i need to excercise
• A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard. Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life. Do not be concerned with escaping safely — lay your life before him.
• A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
• A good martial artist does not become tense but ready. Not thinking yet not dreaming, ready for whatever may come. A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and face the consequences of his own doing. To have no technique, there is no opponent, because the word "I" does not exist. When the opponent expands I contract and when he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, "I" do not hit, "It" hits all by itself.
• A martial artist who drills exclusively to a set pattern of combat is losing his freedom. He is actually becoming a slave to a choice pattern and feels that the pattern is the real thing. It leads to stagnation because the way of combat is never based on personal choice and fancies, but constantly changes from moment to moment, and the disappointed combatant will soon find out that his "choice routine" lacks pliability. There must be a "being" instead of a "doing" in training. One must be free. Instead of complexity of form, there should be simplicity of expression.
• Boards do not hit back.
• A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.
• A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
• Again let me remind you Jeet Kune Do is just a name used, a boat to get one across, and once across it is to be discarded and not to be carried on one's back.
• All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.
• Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.
• Art is the expression of the self. The more complicated and restricted the method, the less the opportunity for expression of one's original sense of freedom. Though they play an important role in the early stage, the techniques should not be too mechanical, complex or restrictive. If we cling blindly to them, we shall eventually become bound by their limitations. Remember, you are expressing the techniques and not doing the techniques. If somebody attacks you, your response is not Technique No.1, Stance No. 2, Section 4, Paragraph 5. Instead you simply move in like sound and echo, without any deliberation. It is as though when I call you, you answer me, or when I throw you something, you catch it. It's as simple as that — no fuss, no mess. In other words, when someone grabs you, punch him. To me a lot of this fancy stuff is not functional.
• As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand.
• As you think, so shall you become.
• Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
• Before I studied the art, a punch to me was just like a punch, a kick just like a kick. After I learned the art, a punch was no longer a punch, a kick no longer a kick. Now that I've understood the art, a punch is just like a punch, a kick just like a kick. The height of cultivation is really nothing special. It is merely simplicity; the ability to express the utmost with the minimum. It is the halfway cultivation that leads to ornamentation. Jeet Kune-Do is basically a sophisticated fighting style stripped to its essentials.
• By adopting a certain physical posture, a resonant chord is struck in spirit.
• To hell with circumstances. I create opportunities.
• Do not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created another pattern and trapped yourself there.
• Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend. Adapt!
• Eliminate "not clear" thinking and function from your root.
• Eventually, you learn to read groups of words. Where a student will see three motions, the experienced man will see one, because he sees the overall energy path.
• Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.
• Finally, a Jeet Kune Do man who says Jeet Kune Do is exclusively Jeet Kune Do is simply not with it. He is still hung up on his self-closing resistance, in this case anchored down to reactionary pattern, and naturally is still bound by another modified pattern and can move within its limits. He has not digested the simple fact that truth exists outside all molds; pattern and awareness is never exclusive.
• Give up thinking as though not giving it up. Observe techniques as though not observing.
• I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.
• I am not teaching you anything. I just help you to explore yourself.
• I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
• I have not invented a "new style," composite, modified or otherwise that is set within distinct form as apart from "this" method or "that" method. On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds. Remember that Jeet Kune Do is merely a name used, a mirror in which to see "ourselves". . . Jeet Kune Do is not an organized institution that one can be a member of. Either you understand or you don't, and that is that.
• I hope martial artists are more interested in the root of martial arts and not the different decorative branches, flowers or leaves.
• I refer to my hands, feet and body as the tools of the trade. The hands and feet must be sharpened and improved daily to be efficient.
• I'm not a master, I'm a student-master, meaning that I have the knowledge of a master and the expertise of a master, but I'm still learning, So I'm a student-master. I don't believe in the word master, I consider the master as such when they close the casket.
• If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting, If I tell you I'm no good, You know I'm lying.
• If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo.
• If there is a God, he is within. You don't ask God to give you things, you depend on God for your inner theme.
• If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
• If you don't want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.
• If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.
• If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.
• If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.
• If you think a thing is impossible, you'll make it impossible.
• If you want to do your duty properly, you should do just a little more than that.
• If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.
• In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject. Actually, he keeps chiselling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Thus, contrary to other styles, being wise in Jeet Kune-Do doesn't mean adding more; it means to minimize, in other words to hack away the unessential.
• Variant: It is not daily increase but daily decrease; hack away the unessential.?In JKD, one does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.
• In combat, spontaneity rules; rote performance of technique perishes.
• In Jeet Kune-Do, physical conditioning is a must for all martial artists. If you are not physically fit, you have no business doing any hard sparring. To me, the best exercise for this is running. Running is so important that you should keep it up during your lifetime. What time of the day you run is not important as long as you run. In the beginning you should jog easily and then gradually increase the distance and tempo, and finally include sprints to develop your 'wind.' Let me give you a bit of warning: just because you get very good at your training it should not go to your head that you are an expert. Remember, actual sparring is the ultimate, and the training is, only a means toward this. Besides running, one should also do exercises for the stomach — sit-ups, leg raises, etc. Too often one of those big-belly masters will tell you that his internal power has sunk to his stomach; he's not kidding, it is sunk and gone! To put it bluntly, he is nothing but fat and ugly.
• In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
• It is true that the mental aspect of kung-fu is the desired end; however, to achieve this end, technical skill must come first.
• It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.
• It's not what you give, it's the way you give it.
• Jeet Kune Do is training and discipline towards the ultimate reality in combat.?Jeet Kune-Do is the only non-classical style of Chinese Kung Fu in existence today. It is simple in its execution, although not so simple to explain. Jeet means "to stop, to stem, to intercept," while Kune means "fist" or "style," and Do means "the way" or "the ultimate reality." In other words — "The Way of the Intercepting Fist."
• Jeet Kune Do, It's just a name, don't fuss over it. There's no such thing as a style if you understand the roots of combat.
• Jeet Kune Do uses no way as way. The consciousness of self is the greatest hindrance to the proper execution of all physical action.
• Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.
• Knowledge in martial arts actually means self-knowledge. A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and accept the consequences of his own doing. The understanding of JKD is through personal feeling from movement to movement in the mirror of the relationship and not through a process of isolation. To be is to be related. To isolate is death. To me, ultimately, martial arts means honestly expressing yourself. Now, it is very difficult to do. It has always been very easy for me to put on a show and be cocky, and be flooded with a cocky feeling and feel pretty cool and all that. I can make all kinds of phoney things. Blinded by it. Or I can show some really fancy movement. But to experience oneself honestly, not lying to oneself, and to express myself honestly, now that is very hard to do.
• Knowledge will give you power, but character, respect.
• Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!
• Variant: Obey the principles without being bound by them.
• Let the spirit out — Discard all thoughts of reward, all hopes of praise and fears of blame, all awareness of one's bodily self. And, finally closing the avenues of sense perception, let the spirit out, as it will.
• Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
• Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.

Mere technical knowledge is only the beginning of Kung Fu, to master it, one must enter into the spirit of it.
• Mere technical knowledge is only the beginning of Kung Fu, to master it, one must enter into the spirit of it.
• Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
• Nothingness cannot be defined; the softest thing cannot be snapped.
• Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.
• Out of chaos, find simplicity, From discord, find harmony.
• Practice all movements slow and fast, soft and hard; the effectiveness of Jeet Kune-Do depends on split-second timing and reflexive action, which can be achieved only through repetitious practice.
• Put every great teacher together in a room, and they'd agree about everything; put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.
• Variant: Put every great teacher in a room, and they'd agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.
• Real living is living for others.
• Showing off is the fool's idea of glory.
• Simplicity is the key to brilliance.
• Styles tend to not only separate men — because they have their own doctrines and then the doctrine became the gospel truth that you cannot change. But if you do not have a style, if you just say: Well, here I am as a human being, how can I express myself totally and completely? Now, that way you won't create a style, because style is a crystallization. That way, it's a process of continuing growth.
• Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.
• Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.
• The aim of art is to project an inner vision into the world, to state in aesthetic creation the deepest psychic and personal experiences of a human being. It is to enable those experiences to be intelligible and generally recognized within the total framework of an ideal world.
• The combatant should be alive in sparring, throwing punches and kicks from all angles, and should not be a co-operative robot. Like water, sparring should be formless. Pour water into a cup, it becomes part of the cup. Pour it into a bottle; it becomes part of the bottle. Try to kick or punch it, it is resilient; clutch it and it will yield without hesitation. In fact, it will escape as pressure is being applied to it. How true it is that nothingness cannot be confined. The softest thing cannot be snapped.
• The first rule is to keep yourself well covered at all times and never leave yourself open while sparring around the bag. By all means use your footwork — side stepping, feinting, varying your kicks and blows to the bag. Do not shove or flick at it. Explode through it and remember that the power of the kick and punch comes from the correct contact at the right spot and at the right moment with the body in perfect position; not, as many people think, from the vigor with which the kicks or blows are delivered.
• The future looks extremely bright indeed, with lots of possibilities ahead — big possibilities. Like the song says, "We've just begun."
• The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or in defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.
• The height of cultivation runs to simplicity. Halfway cultivation runs to ornamentation.
• The highest technique is to have no technique. My technique is a result of your technique; my movement is a result of your movement.?A good JKD man does not oppose force or give way completely. He is pliable as a spring; he is the complement and not the opposition to his opponent's strength. He has no technique; he makes his opponent's technique his technique. He has no design; he makes opportunity his design.?One should not respond to circumstance with artificial and "wooden" prearrangement. Your action should be like the immediacy of a shadow adapting to its moving object. Your task is simply to complete the other half of the oneness spontaneously.
• The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
• The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.
• The main characteristic JKD is the absence of the usual classical passive blocking. Blocking is the least efficient. Jeet Kune-Do is offensive; it's alive and it's free.
• The mind is like a fertile garden in which anything that is planted, flowers or weeds, will grow.
• The more relaxed the muscles are, the more energy can flow through the body. Using muscular tensions to try to "do" the punch, or attempting to use brute force to knock someone over, will only work to opposite effect.
• The old-fashioned punching speed bag teaches you to hit straight and square; if you don't hit it straight the bag will not return directly to you. Besides learning footwork, you can hit the bag upward too. Another important function is that after the delivery of the punch, the bag will return instantaneously and this will teach you to be alert and to recover quickly. The bag should not be hit in a rhythmic motion but instead in a broken rhythm. Actually fight the bag as if it is your opponent.
• The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose. Do not like, do not dislike; all will then be clear. Make a hairbreadth difference and heaven and earth are set apart; if you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between "for" and "against" is the mind's worst disease.
• The point is doing of them rather than the accomplishments. There is no actor but the action; there is no experiencer but the experience.
• The possession of anything begins in the mind.
• The techniques, though they play an important role in the early stage, should not be too restrictive, complex or mechanical. If we cling to them, we will become bound by their limitation. Remember, you are expressing the technique, and not doing Technique number two, Stance three, Section four?
• The void is no mere emptiness, but is real, free and existing. It is the source from which all things arise and return. It cannot be seen, touched or known, yet it exists and is freely used. It has no shape, size, colour or form, and yet all that we see, hear, feel and touch is "it". It is beyond intellectual knowing and cannot be grasped by the ordinary mind. When we suddenly awake to the realization that there is no barrier, and has never been seen, one realizes that one is all things, mountains, rivers, grasses, trees, sun, moon, stars, universe are all oneself. There is no longer a division or barrier between myself and others, no longer any feeling of alienation or fear. Realizing this, results in true compassion. Other people and things are not seen as apart from oneself, on the contrary, as one's own body.
• There are lots of guys around the world that are lazy. They have big fat guts. They talk about chi power and things they can do, but don't believe it.
• There is no fixed teaching. All I can provide is an appropriate medicine for a particular ailment.
• There is no mystery about my style. My movements are simple, direct and non-classical. The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity. Every movement in Jeet Kune-Do is being so of itself. There is nothing artificial about it. I always believe that the easy way is the right way. Jeet Kune-Do is simply the direct expression of one's feelings with the minimum of movements and energy. The closer to the true way of Kung Fu, the less wastage of expression there is.
• There is nothing better than free-style sparring in the practice of any combative art. In sparring you should wear suitable protective equipment and go all out. Then you can truly learn the correct timing and distance for the delivery of the kicks, punches, etc. It is a good idea to spar with all types of individuals — tall, short, fast, clumsy. Yes, at times a clumsy fellow will mess up a better man because his awkwardness serves as a sort of broken rhythm. The best sparring partner, though, is a quick, strong man who does not know anything; a madman who goes all out, scratching, grabbing, grappling, punching, kicking, and so on.
• There is only one type of body, 2 arms, 2 legs, etc that make up the human body. Therefore, there can only be one style of fighting. If the other guy had 4 arms and 2 legs, there might have to be a different one. Forget the belief that one style is better than the other, the point of someone that does not just believe in tradition, but actually wants to know how to fight is to take what you need from every martial art and incorporate it into your own. Make it effective and very powerful, but don't worry if you are taking moves from many different arts, that is a good thing.
• This statement expresses my feelings perfectly: 'In memory of a once fluid man, crammed and distorted by the classical mess.'
• To develop proper distance and penetration against a moving target, use a partner equipped either with a body protector or an air bag. He can either stand still and take the brunt of the kick, or he can back away from the attack. The former teaches proper application of the kick, especially valuable in teaching beginners. The latter training is to teach penetration. As soon as your partner thinks you will attack, he tries to back away as fast as possible. This practice is valuable to both men; one learns to penetrate and the other to back away quickly. The body protector is sometimes used for sharpening the attack. The partner will not attack but will maintain a correct distance in a ready fighting pose. As you begin to attack, he will try to counter, block, or move away. You will have almost the actual feeling of hitting your opponent in a real situation.
• To me totality is very important in sparring. Many styles claim this totality. They say that they can cope with all types of attacks; that their structures cover all the possible lines and angles, and are capable of retaliation from all angles and lines. If this is true, then how did all the different styles come about? If they are in totality, why do some use only the straight lines, others the round lines, some only kicks, and why do still others who want to be different just flap and flick their hands? To me a system that clings to one small aspect of combat is actually in bondage.
• To me, the extraordinary aspect of martial arts lies in its simplicity. The easy way is also the right way, and martial arts is nothing at all special; the closer to the true way of martial arts, the less wastage of expression there is.
• To reach the masses, some sort of big organization (whether) domestic and foreign branch affiliation, is not necessary. To reach the growing number of students, some sort of pre-conformed set must be established as standards for the branch to follow. As a result all members will be conditioned according to the prescribed system. Many will probably end up as a prisoner of a systematized drill.
• To see a thing uncoloured by one's own personal preferences and desires is to see it in its own pristine simplicity.
• Use only that which works, and take it from any place you find it.
• Variant: Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.
• Using no way as way, having no limitation as limitation
• Voidness is that which stands right in the middle between this and that. The void is all-inclusive, having no opposite — there is nothing which it excludes or opposes. It is living void, because all forms come out of it and whoever realizes the void is filled with life and power and the love of all being.
• When I look around I always learn something, and that is to be yourself always, express yourself, and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate him. Now that seems to be the prevalent thing happening in Hong Kong, like they always copy mannerism, but they never start from the root of his being and that is, how can I be me?
• When people talk about fighting schools they say that Kung Fu, or Karate, or this other style is the best. That is silly, and the problem becomes that the fighting style then becomes set in stone with no growth, and no adaptation, because what works well with me might not work for you.
• When performing the movements, always use your imagination. Picture your adversary attacking, and use Jeet Kune-Do techniques in response to this imagined attack. As these techniques become more innate, new meaning will begin to emerge and better techniques can be formulated.
• When there is freedom from mechanical conditioning, there is simplicity. The classical man is just a bundle of routine, ideas and tradition. If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow — you are not understanding yourself.
• When you fight, if it is a real fight, use every tool that you have, use your whole body. Use your fists, your legs, your fingers, your head if you have to, and hit them in every vulnerable spot, the balls, the eyes etc. to win.
• Wine may become so dilute that few will drink of it.
• You just wait. I'm going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.
• You know what I want to think of myself? As a human being. because, I mean I don't want to be like "As Confucius say," but under the sky, under the heavens there is but one family. It just so happens that people are different.

• Question: What are your thoughts when facing an opponent??Bruce: There is no opponent.?Question: Why is that??Bruce: Because the word "I" does not exist.?A good fight should be like a small play...but played seriously. When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity... I do not hit...it hits all by itself (shows his fist).?Any technique, however worthy and desirable, becomes a disease when the mind is obsessed with it.

To move ahead in the future, you must free yourself from the past. Clear up those cobwebs that bring nothing but gloom into your life. The bad experiences hurt, and heartaches and miseries. Step fresh into a “new life” each day by bringing with you only the best memories.

As a rolling stone in life, you gather too much moss. You collect mountains of material possessions that take up too much of your space and time. Edit your belongings. Life will be so much easier if you travel light.

It is better to start a painting on a clean canvass. Bathe your life and spruce up your act. Cleanse your soul and purify your spirit. And kick those bad habits away!

Be properly equipped. Your success depends on your keen sense on intuition, preparedness and dedicated work. Keep your aptitudes honed, willingness-ready and mind always sharp.

The excitement you get in life depends upon how excited you are to live it. Anticipate great things to come. Feel that you deserve them. Always expect nothing less than the very best!

Your attitude affects your state of mind’s overall disposition. It determines how you act and react to people and situations. Have a great, new attitude to reach higher altitudes.

There is nothing to be gained from wasting your time on negative things. Sift the good from the bad. See the blessings, not the miseries. Look at life through rose-colored glasses. Seek beauty, nobility and truth!

If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never get it. You will never hit the target if you don’t know what and where it is. Know your goal and set your heart and eyes on it.

To succeed, you have to be in the right place. It is ridiculous to sell beachwear at the winter ski resort. Go to the right places. Get into the right circles. And be there in the right time!

What you project is what people see. You reveal your personality through your attire and the way you carry yourself. Dress up in clean, comfortable and proper clothes. You have only three seconds to make that crucial first impression!

You cannot fully succeed by doing it all alone. No man is an island and you cannot be educated enough to know it all. Employ the help of others. And strive to win their all-important trust and moral support!

To get it, you must give it away. The most important things in life operate by the law of Cause and Effort. Love, happiness, understanding, compassion and even money — you must give them away first before you can receive them. Be aware that the law works on negative things, too, cause misery and it will strike back at you!

Yesterday is done; tomorrow is not yet come. You only have present, the very precious now. Make hay while there is day. And do it while you can!

A man died and found himself in front of St. Peter at the gates of heaven. He saw cars, appliances and wonderful things dumped on top of the clouds. He asked, “St. Peter, please tell me. What are those things?” St.Peter replied, “Those things were ordered by some people on earth but they hung up before we could ask where to have them delivered”. Don’t give up. Try and try until you succeed!

Life showers us with glorious gifts. The tallest and biggest castle in the world becomes a lonely prison if you have no one to share it with. Share your bounties; share your time. Show you care by doing your share!

Cry and you cry alone, laugh and the world laughs with you! Keep your sense of humor. Laugh and stay wonderfully sane. Most importantly, learn to laugh at your mistake!

Keep the childlike wonder. Live with wide-eyed enthusiasm. Be in constant awe. Never permit yourself to be dull or jaded. Experience everything as if it was your first time to experience it.

Your body is the temple of your soul. Make it powerful and strong to weather any storm. Feed it well. Keep it neat, healthy and well maintained. Move the body and flex those muscles. Don’t be a couch potato, be alive and be on the go!

A computer is only as good as the data you program into it. Update your knowledge. Delete bad past programming. Read, research and learn. Perform mental gymnastics. The most brilliant crown you can wear is an intelligent mind!

For anything to happen, you must believe that it will. A shadow of doubt is enough to prevent it from becoming true. You have to have faith in your heart and unwavering belief that God will provide what your heart desires. Believe in magic and with God’s blessings it will come true.
"People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualise in their minds that they are not quitters; they will not allow life's circumstances to push them down and hold them under."

-Charles Swindoll
I'm slowly returning to the LJ world.. it's really great to hear about my friends lives as they make their way.. I'm happy for you guys!! I'm grateful too that it's proving to be lifelong friendships and definitely worth putting in more effort as far as building on the relationships.

Hmm, in this side of the computer.. I'm just getting ready to head back to school starting the 18th. Of course, I'm getting all nostalgic already from the summer fun I've had. To recap, I was supposed to get a summer job so I didn't enroll for summer classes. I did my stint at the printer, the organic farm, driving around the Montanos, so that's how I funded my partying for the summer lol But I think it mostly went to gas so I could spend time with friends and going to shows and whatnot. I think I even made my way to Sarasota to visit with Purple and Adam, see Geoff, Andrew and Dan at the PCP. Hah, I guess I was looking forward to seeing Neil around that time, but he ended up disappearing on me because he said he couldn't live up to what he thought he could provide. That was part of the dissapointment this summer. There was also Kyle leaving for Ohio far too early before I was able to see him. Funny thing with that is that he's heading back to Florida so he can train to be an army ranger in Japan for next year. I got to see Tracey in Hollywood, FL during the FMCRC conference, which turned out to be beneficial for me as I work on getting more involved in the Fil-Am community. I was voted Public Relations offficer for both FAABCO and SFACEF. I have a conference coming up for the Coalition, FAPA and NaFFAA. The important thing to keep in mind is who will we back up for the upcoming presidential election. I think we're going to link up with FilVote.. it's on my things to do. The list is getting longer actually because I keep on saying yes. Right now I'm supposed to be at a Brevard Cultural Alliance meeting, but yeah my car is at the mechanic. I've been so dependent on my family and friends to getting places, and I really hate it because I feel my freedom is taken from me. I am really missing my new friend Liz. That girl and I just bonded right quick ever since I met her at the DUB321 show at Vero Beach. From that point on, I've been part of the dub321 family and it's been fun. It's been a while since I've had a galpal. Our friendship is new, but together we kick ass. Same with Sandy. I see the three of us being really good friends for as long as we invest ourselves in this friendship. I finally met Steve this summer too, and he's been a blessing in my life. It's taken me two years to finally see him at Tapps and we kinda regret not having made more of an effort but I think because I've had so many disappointments in relationships and it's taken me this long to really get over Mikeal that in that time, I've matured some and know better how to deal with a grown up relationship. I'm happy for Mikeal I really am. I think the wake up call I had with him is when I found out he was going to be a father. He's going to have a baby girl with Jess. It's still shocking for me but it all made sense to me then that he wasn't the one. I think to me he will always be the one that got away. I'm finding myself these days to be thinking that Steve will be the one that will stay. I don't want to jinx it, if it's meant to be, it will happen. But for now the focus is finishing my education and making a life for myself that will make me happy. I've been miserable for too long, without really realizing it, so I need to work on my life and making it the best one. While I may have no inkling as to a definite path to pursue, along the way I'm finding my strengths and weaknesses, and what I can handle. This life right now maybe not the one I have imagined for myself, but it makes sense right now and I know now to be thankful for all that I have which is more than what I can ask for. Ohh, and I got to do fire spinning this summer. That was fun. Too many naked pool parties and drunken nights too, but I feel as if I needed to get the hard partying out of the way so I won't feel like I'm missing out. I want to be a good girl now. I've quit smoking, I've been clean, I just gotta work on keeping my drinking to a min. After throwing up all over Steve that one night, and not remembering a damn thing, I think we're getting me there, lol. He's right though, I wasn't able to do much with myself because I've been with people who are not that good for me. Like I said before, I need a strong man that I don't need to worry about, who will keep me stimulated, tell me when I'm being a brat and give me the love I need. He's really good that. So, I'm hoping that it will work out, but not just that, I'm also going to work on us. "It's you and me baby forever." :D

Didn't mean to go on as I did, but that's where my heart is at lol. K, time to be productive.
I've gotten back to my cooking. Last night I broiled some salmon with Asian seasoning, stir fried brocolli and corn. For dessert, Steve made for me peanut butter milkshake. Why have I never had this before?? It is so good, and I love peanut butter!! This is why today, I needed to work out more than normal, just to even things out. Any suggestion for music to excercise to is most welcome!! Ever since I started dating him, I've stopped eating healthy, drank more alcohol, and have basically quit being on the go. I dislike it, and so before I fall into the trap again, I gotta fight the fat lol. Some days I miss being single, but waking up next to him everyday and ending the night with him, is just too precious. We just gotta stop with movie nights every night and maybe do something active for a change.
I still don't really know quite yet what I'm gonna do with my life, but at least some things are falling nicely in to place. Not really understanding why I'm PR for two Filipino organizations and Student Government, I guess I am liking the idea of having more responsibility and seeing if I can hold up to it. So far so good. Thinking of getting into event planning. We've already secured a grant for our Asian Pacific American festival. $6,744 to go into advertising and promoting alone. Ohhh, I bet if we had asked for the $25,000 we might got closer to the amount, but I'm glad we weren't greedy. There's another grant to complete in the next week or so, and I have to submit a camera ready ad by the 29th. SGA's holding it's first event in two days, and I'm simply ready to smile and make nice with everyone. Maybe I can look into being a publicist of some sort. I hear the big money is in convention planning. Just for now, I'll just attend them and observe, and of course enjoy!! :) Figuring out classes for the next semester. It's sweet I get a scholarship for being an officer. Gonna try to do this school thing again with hopefully more success. I feel as if I've matured in some way. I needed focus and I feel as if I have it. So ready to take on everything.. just have to remember not to take on everything, lol.
every day we'd wake up at 6:20
and he'll keep pressing the snooze button
cuddle close and sleep some more
then i'd have to force him to get up and get ready for work
then i get his mountain dew ready or sunscreen if he's gonna be out in the sun
i bug him about taking the plans
(he usually calls midday saying he's got nothing to do and nobody to yell at anymore)
walk him to the door at 6:40
and i'd go to the balcony and watch him drive away
and wait until we're together again
this is life right now
it's pretty simple
and i am sooo happy

we're very much in love
life is good :)
Coiled around my prey
slink and sink
the poison inside your skin
disrupted life
To wake again
In heaven

I’ve searched for you
The only one to whom I belong
While I’ve seen the love in their eyes
The same look I couldn’t reflect
Couldn’t hold on tight
it was too easy not to fight
Let slip and fall
Break and cry
Didn’t even want to try anymore
But one day I walked in and you came by
No words needed
The heart knows when it’s right
Ever since that fateful night
I have stayed by your side
And we both understand
together we’ll walk through this life
Try as it may to tear us apart
From you I’ll never depart
True to you
And forever yours
Love is a natural force
Let it run its course
Finding you took some time
I never take what’s not mine
But the wait is over
The search is through
I was here to love only you

The star is glowing
The love is flowing
My heart is growing
I am knowing in my heart
that I can never lose with you
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 01:20 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios